


The Greasy Wand

by Odeum



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Everything is very silly, F/M, M/M, seriously don't take this seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 02:43:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15110192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odeum/pseuds/Odeum
Summary: Just some comedic Harry Potter one-shots.New ones may be added randomly and without warning.





	1. The Greasy Wand

  
Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk at the sound of creaky hinges. The man who entered her office wore long, guano-stained robes. "It is I, Snape," intoned Professor Snape, the potions master. "I am the potions master!"  
  
"Get out of my office, you filthy moonshine brewster," yelled Professor Mcgonagall calmly. "You are not welcome here!"  
Snape bowed deeply, his long nose touching the ground. "As you wish, however, I thought you might want to inspect my Greasy Wand!"  
  
Professor Mcgonagall was shocked at the size of Snape's wand. She did not realize they came in that size.  
"Well, perhaps you can stay for a special inspection," moaned Mcgonagall.


	2. Throbbing of the Silver Snake

There was darkness, and there was silence. Specifically, there was darkness and silence in the Slytherin common room. That was perhaps not unusual, as the Slytherins didn't much like each other.  
  
One Slytherin approached Draco Malfoy. "Hey Draco–"  
  
"I'm not in love with potter!" shrieked the Blonde Scion. Then he ran from the room.  
  
Later, he ran into Harry Potter in the corridor. "Stay away from me, Potter!" he gasped while tweaking his left nipple. "Don't ask me to suck that, because I won't do it!" he shouted as Harry pulled out his wand. But he knew that he couldn't resist.   
"You can't resist," said Harry.  
  
And that was true.


End file.
